How To Move On From Your First Friend Breakup, From 3 Experts

In a recent Her Campus feature on the emotional complexity of losing a close friend, Tara Gogolinski, LMFT, offered insight into why these breakups can feel so disorienting and painful. She explained that many friendship endings create a form of ambiguous loss — there’s no clear rupture, no conversation, and often no chance to repair or say goodbye. Tara highlighted how this lack of closure can leave people replaying moments, searching for answers, and struggling to make sense of a relationship that quietly changed shape. Her contribution brought a steady, compassionate lens to an experience many young adults navigate alone, reminding readers that grief in friendship is real, valid, and worthy of care.

Tara also emphasized that friend breakups often touch parts of us we don’t expect. They can stir up old attachment wounds, activate fears of rejection, or challenge our sense of belonging. Because friendships are woven into daily life — shared routines, inside jokes, mutual support — their loss can create a sudden emotional void. Tara noted that this can feel especially destabilizing during seasons of transition, like college or early adulthood, when identity and community are still forming.

What often makes these breakups harder is the silence around them. Many people don’t feel entitled to grieve a friendship the way they would a romantic relationship, which can lead to minimizing their pain or feeling unsure about how to talk about it. Tara’s perspective in the article helps normalize this experience, offering language and validation for a type of loss that deserves to be acknowledged. She encourages readers to honor the significance of the relationship, give themselves permission to feel what comes up, and seek support if the grief feels heavy or confusing.